Porn for Jehovah’s Witnesses

Posted by Dave Hitt
Categorized Under: News
Dated: 14 May 2009
Comments: 4

This is something that ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses will find funny, but leave everyone else scratching their heads and saying “Huh?”

Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that oral and anal sex, even between married people, is wrong, because gay people do it.  (Gay people also kiss and hold hands, but somehow that doesn’t count.)  This is one of their many doctrines that have changed back and forth over the years.  Sometimes it’s a disfellowshiping offense, sometimes it’s not.  I’m not sure of their current stance on it, but whatever it is, you can be sure it will change in the future.  (JWs scorn other churches that make changes in doctrine, but changes in their doctrine are “new truths” to be celebrated and embraced.)

Since JWs are programmed to self-censor anything from outside their organization, I’ve created this piece for them.  It  consists entirely of watchtower quotes, read verbatim, over sexy music.

JW_Porn Left click to play, right click to download.  NSFW.

The text came from this page.   The music is “Perfume” by the group “Adult Only.”  You can find the real thing here.

4 Responses to “Porn for Jehovah’s Witnesses”

  1. David Says:


  2. zachm Says:

    this is pure genius. I, sir, want to buy you a drink.

  3. tim Says:

    Wow! They must have kicked you out for you to be so narrowed about a peaceful type of people. Who cares if they are completely full of $#!+. The world would be a better place if humans did like them.

    Poor Zach thinks you are a genius. Now that is really sick.

  4. Hittman Says:

    Tim, I’d suggest you google “Jehovah’s Witnesses” and read every link on the first three pages. Then visit the Jehovah’s Witness Recovery forum and just read a few random threads.

    While these people don’t resort to physical violence, they are devastatingly effective and emotional and mental violence against anyone who leaves or stands up to them.

    Let me guess – you’re a Witness in good standing, right?

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